And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

There are so many roles I would love to play. Fantine or Eponine in Les Miserables. Natalie in Next to Normal. Mother in Ragtime. Elphaba in Wicked. The list goes on and on. But one role I will never play ever in my life will be Effie in Dreamgirls.

Why?

Dreamgirls is a musical about a trio of young black girls from Chicago, Deena, Lorell, and Effie, and their rise to fame. The show takes place during the 60's and 70's, and is loosely based on groups such as The Supremes. It opened on Broadway on December 20, 1981, and ran until August 11, 1985, for a total of 1521 performances. There has since been a concert version of the show, with Audra McDonald as Deena, Heather Headley as Lorell, and Lillias White as Effie, as well as a movie, with Beyonce Knowles as Deena, Anika Noni Rose as Lorell, and Jennifer Hudson as Effie. The original Effie was also a diva named Jennifer: Jennifer Holliday.

Jennifer Holliday was as much a diva as her character Effie, and with good reason too! The song above, "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" clearly shows how deserving Holliday is of the diva status. In this song, as the presentator so eloquently states, Effie is being kicked out of the Dreams and replaced by a skinnier and prettier singer, though with at most a fourth of Effie's voice, by Curtis Taylor Jr., the manager of the Dreams as well as her lover. Who, Effie believes, is cheating on her with Deena, especially since Effie was once the lead singer of the Dreams, when they were Dreamettes, before Curtis made Deena lead because of her "softer sound and image."

Take all that raw emotion, add a killer voice, and what you've got, ladies and gentlemen, is a hit.

Before "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" there is an introductory song called "It's All Over." And boy, does it come in with a bang! From the moment Holliday says "Love me"with such a pained look on her face, we're on a high speed, powerful, emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.

Holliday is amazing. Let's just get that clear right away. Jennifer Holliday is an amazing performer with an unbelievable voice.  We don't hear as much of her raw power in "It's All Over" though we do get a quick preview at 3:03, but it's not until Holliday starts "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" that we really hear her voice. She has such a unique voice. She works a gravely tone at times, and often scoops into or out of her notes with quick breaths. You can hear the way she drops words at moments like 3:39 when she sings "going" but after she finishes the word, she adds an extra "uh" so it sounds like "going-uh." Holliday does this a lot throughout the song, so everytime she sings"you" it often becomes "you-uh." Her "me" at 4:16 is just fabulous. I love the break at 4:20 that leads into a riff. Oh, it's just so perfectly controlled and executed. 5:09 to 5:20 is just absolutely amazing. There we really hear Holliday's gravely tone, and it works so well with the emotion of the song. My favorite part is when she says "ha ha" at 5:18. What really is amazing is how well Holliday transitions from the gravely tone to a clean sustained note at 5:21. It seems so simple and easy for her. Now that's a great singer with excellent control of their voice.

5:36 to 6:08 is a really desperate part of the song, one that Holliday executes so well with her gravely tones. However, this is where her acting chops really come in handy. Her face this entire time is just so pained and pleading. She's going crazy trying to get Curtis to stay with her, starting with the shaking of her hands and great "no" at 5:39. Holliday can make such great sounds with her voice, as seen at 5:52, and makes such great choices of how to phrase and sing things, such as the way she sings "Please don't go away from me" at 5:42. It's almost a startling change to the rest of the song because you can really feel the rhythm. Each note is separate and distinct from the other, not flowing in riffs and gravel. Another great choice Holliday makes is at 6:04 with her "I know, I know, I know, I know you can." Each "I know" is so powerful and demanding almost, though it's still very pleading and desperate. There is so much freedom in this song for Holliday to just let her voice take over and wow everyone. And that she does.

Once Curtis leaves after Holliday kisses him, however, the whole dynamic of the song changes. It really is all over for Holliday now. There is still some lingering desperation, such as in "tear down the mountains, yell (where the hand shake returns!) scream and shout," however it is more of one last fading plea than anything else. Now, depression has taken over as the realization sinks in that Curtis doesn't love her anymore and her dreams of being a star are completely and hopelessly dashed.

And here comes the powerhouse moment.

From 6:27 to 6:38, Holliday does not take a single discernable breath.

Count that with me. That's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 seconds of not only singing, but changing notes and words as well! That's quite impressive! The audience certainly thinks so, for that's when they began to cheer. And Holliday just keeps getting more and more amazing. Her riff on "going" at 6:43 is so cool, and the way she repeats "ever" at 6:51 until it leads into "no" is just fantastic. And then we get back to her fabulous riffs at 7:19 with "me" that leads into a chorus of "yeahs" at 7:22 and another great "you're gonna love me" at 7:27.

But Holliday doesn't stop there. Now she really shows us what she's made of. Starting at 7:38, Holliday sings "love" with so many quick note changes and riffs that make you go crazy just listening to them. And then she steps it up a notch at 7:46 with such pain-filled eyes and an impressive riff at 7:54. I mean, the woman has been sustaining this note, and then she suddenly brings her voice back up with the last of her breath. It's no wonder she needs to gasp at 7:55, especially since she's preparing to go out with a real bang.

And what a bang it is. True, there are no amazing riffs or breaks or anything, but there is such emotion and power to this last note. Holliday is half onto the table, her arm outstretched with nobody to take it. Her eyes are full of pain, desperation, and desolation. You can't help but clap and cheer along with the audience. This is not an easy song to sing, ladies and gentlemen, and Holliday just absolutely kills it!

I could go on and on about these songs. There are so many great moments in them, especially in "It's All Over."  Everyone has their own fantastic moment, such as when Lorell intervenes between Deena and Effie at 1:50, when Jimmy, Lorell's boyfriend and the star the Dreams first sang behind, comes in at 2:14, and when C.C, Effie's brother, chimes in at 2:35. Everyone's just building off of each other, making the song bigger and bigger until it becomes "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." There are also so many wonderful lyrics, such as when Curtis sings about how Effie is getting "fatter all the time" and she retorts "that's a lie a lie, I've never been so thin." What we don't find out until later in the show is that Effie is in fact pregnant with Curtis' child at this point in the show. Another great part is the chorus of "show biz, it's just show biz" that is heard at the very end of the song. That line really is the message of Dreamgirls. Annie Get Your Gun Other may declare "there's no business like show business" but Dreamgirls shows just how crazy show biz really can be.